The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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