The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
