I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
