If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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