So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
