dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
