Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
