Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
