Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
