Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
