When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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