Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
