My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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