shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
