i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
