i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize