if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
