Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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