your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
