i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
