he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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