hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm getting married
To pizza
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
