yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
