He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
this just has baby written all over it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
