dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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