Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
