WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
