i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
