We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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