I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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