i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
