I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
