He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
