new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Pooping to opera.
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