So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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