bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize