FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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