Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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