Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
