ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
