I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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