I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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