dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
