sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
