She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize