I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
