Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize