He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
