dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
