Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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