I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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