Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
