Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Randomize
