he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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