I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize