Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
