It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
