PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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