I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just gift wrapped bread.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
