My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
