Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just gift wrapped bread.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
