i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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