someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
