I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My feet surprised me
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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