would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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