Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
