I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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