So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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