my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize