3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We're facebook friends in real life
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize