God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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