Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm having to shit out rocks
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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