you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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