so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
