Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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