I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
